Punishing Your Children

Spanking? Timeouts? Bribery? It seems like there are a bunch of ways that parents discipline their children, but which is the best? Alice Bradley from Finslippy asks the panelists, "How do you discipline your child?"

What's your discipline style? Do you believe in the old saying, "My way or the highway?" Or do you prefer to give a child choices like Giyen does? Speak up, and join the Momversation.

More videos on Momversation ... Browse all 348 videos

Showing the Latest of 27 Comments

legpub
2 yearss ago

There are many child discipline techniques that are effective and some that are not. Learning which ones work and which ones do not work comes with experience. But never hit your child, ever.

ioana
3 yearss ago

I had no idea what I would do as a parent. But I've decided when my son was small that I would not spank. My husband believes that it is sometimes necessary . My son is now 2.5 and I have yet to really raise my voice to him. So far, so good, and I think I'm lucky, I don't dare think that we are doing something right because parenting is so challenging and I know I will have to eat crow one day. In fact, I'm absolutely sure that one day I'll eat crow. Whenever he has tantrums, I first let him for 10 seconds to flail around on the floor, and then offer hugs, and he usually takes them and calms down. Whenever he does something naughty, I go down to his level and make him look at me in my eyes (it's not easy) and tell him that mommy doesn't like that, it's not nice. Sometimes it works, sometimes we just have to change the environment a bit. I'm a lot more patient as a mother than I've ever been as a wife or sister or daughter... so far!

Aubzikins
3 yearss ago

Ok well I have read people saying they are for spanking... and then I have read people saying they are against spanking... I have a little boy who will be 2 in April... He is one of the most stubborn children I have ever come across... I also have a 5 month old little girl. His father is military and i am ex-military. Both of our fathers were military also. Both of us were spanked as children. My father took it overboard alot of times. So Spanking is in out system... My hubby is gone quite alot... Tristan is so headstrong already... He knows hes not supposed to do certain things but he will sit there and look at you as you are telling him no and then he will smile and do it anyway. We have tried taking his toys away, making him take a nap if he gets too bad, spanking his butt or his hands, timeouts, yelling, talking, everything!!! He will listen to his dad like 40% of the time... and maybe listen to me 10% of the time. Which is horrible because his dad is deploying and im about to have another child on the move... Kaitlynn is already starting to crawl! I even tried the 1 2 magic program! I dealt with the parent resource people that are on the post... and that doesnt even help. I am at my wits end... My hubby is gone for training for a month and Tristans behavior has gotten so much worse... I just dont know how else to deal with him... Any ideas? Aubrey

conversationswi...
3 yearss ago

Disciplining in my household is more of a Trial and Error with lots of emphasis on the Error. It is very stressful at times but rewarding (when it works) during other times. Time-outs do not work with my son (Screams, runs away from spot etc...) What works best with him is to give him choices. But when he doesn't listen, one of those choices is a consequence. "You can either eat the chocolate cookie after supper, or not eat any at all". I can definitely relate with Alice about my son's STRONG emotions. Boy does it test my nerves at times. I just wonder what my newborn son will be like. Hopefully, they will balance each other out :)

TheWife
3 yearss ago

This is such a HARD topic! I think that, since it's a matter of personal choice and tailoring the punishment to fit the kid, that there are no hard and fast rules on the matter of yes/no on the spanking issue. Of course, we're not at the point yet where we CAN spank even if we were inclined to, so all that's really easy for me to say. Are we going to spank? I don't know. I'm leaning towards a "yes, if necessary" approach currently, simply because I KNOW that's what kept me in line as a child, but then again, all that could chance. I don't know.

MoscowMom
3 yearss ago

I have problems with my 4,5 year old daughter. When she gets bored (especially if we stay at home all the day/week/2weeks long when she's got a flu) or when I say something she doesn't like - she tries to hit me. When I try to talk to her like "I see, you disagree with me..." or "Well, you're tired..." or "I understand you desperately wanted this exactly doll your sister is playing with..." - she starts yelling: "DON'T YOU TALK TO ME! SHUT UP! GET OUT OF HERE!" and nothing works! She doesn't want to go somewhere and to calm down, she starts biting me, hitting, screaming "YOU'RE A BAD MOTHER!"... Sometimes I have enough patience not to take it too emotionally and stay cool. But sometimes it's gets really offencive, and I grab her and place her in her room and then just hold the door, so that she can't go out - untill she calms down. Sometimes it repeats for two or three or even four times a day - and it drives me mad, so, yeah, I spank my daughter...

barbex
3 yearss ago

And I don't blame you! Holy cow, that is some serious fighting! It looks like you guys are way past the point where boundaries and general civil behaviour normally work. Get help. Don't agonize over it, find some kind of therapy for both of you.

PBark
3 yearss ago

I grew up in a household that attacked me emotionally, often things were said to shake my foundations and to force me to submit. As a parent now, I find that spanking my child is preferable. The strikes are controlled and follow a speech and aren't hard, but they are recognized as punishment. Afterward, a stern "Do you know what you did wrong?", if my child still is unaware I explain to them again what happened and how it could have gone differently. As a mother to a baby who doesn't understand speech, and is still crawling, pulling the potted plants around, I merely strike his hands lightly with a firm "No." I believe a child cannot grow up thinking that all he will receive for a wrong doing is a stern talking to, there will be stronger repercussions then what I deliver if he doesn't learn now. Please do not think I do not love my children, spanking is punishment when I've explained to my son to not run into the street, and I always exchange hugs, kisses, and "I love yous" when the disciplining is over.

short pump preppy
3 yearss ago

My children are teens and we used time out, removal of all things fun, and grounding, depending on the severity. Spanking was reserved for the "hand too near the stove" or "running out in traffic"...and was quick, not hard, just an attention getter. We went with pediatricians' recommendations at the time. Knock on wood, I have kids who aren't in trouble and running around on the weekends, so I'm not punishing these days. Not sure how I'd handle the problem teen years. My oldest was resistant to time out. She would never sit still. That was the biggest challenge. I did everything but sit on top of her to keep her in the chair. She is now living on her own in college and that strong willed nature is serving her well in life. It's not always a bad thing. Linda http://www.shortpumppreppy.com http://www.shortpumppreppyreviews.com

CoachNancy
3 yearss ago

Thank you for bringing up this controversial parenting topic. The concern with spanking is that it can be a slippery slope from “controlled spanking” to angry spanking. The fact is that it is human nature to act more impulsively when angry. If we make the decision that it is okay to spank, then does it give more permission to oneself to do so when angry? We model what behavior is okay and not okay through our actions. If we spank our children when we are angry, are we teaching them that it is okay to use angry hands when angry? How about modeling for children how to calm down when angry? Many times when the situation is escalated for the children, it is escalated for the adult too. When parents can work to calm down, and then work to solve the problem, they can really prepare children for life. After all, it’s hard to manage strong emotions. For more on anger and tantrums: http://tinyurl.com/7kflpg Coach Nancy www.myparentingsource.com

Punishing Your Children

Showing the Latest of 27 Comments

Post new comment

Sponsored Links

Panelists

We Work With 40 Contributors Meet Them All

Express Yourself!

Momversation is the place where real women share personal insights into the issues that affect us.