The "R" Word: Is It Ever OK to Use It?

Sarah Palin recently made headlines (surprise, surprise) condemning Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel for using the "R" word...

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Mercy
1 years ago

When I First saw the "R" word, the word that first popped into my heard was rape.

Mercy
1 years ago

Firemen retard the spread of fire with water, or with the use of other fire retardents. Hmmm...think its ok. I have family members that have "challenges, disabilities". Should we ban those words, as well?

VIP09
2 yearss ago

I believe in this day and age where we have so many words to choose from, we can officially say that satire or not, the use of the "R" word is no longer necessary. Do we really need to be using this word? Of course we all might have used the word at one point or another, I'll admit that I have, but looking back to my conversation on which I used it, I realized it didn't add to the point I was making. As a matter of fact, it decreased my point because the only thing that was most predominant in my statement was the use of the word and how uneducated I sounded in that moment.

SilverXeno
2 yearss ago

UMm....I am one of those people that don't see words as "bad" or "good". More like, appropriate & inappropriate. Is "retard" inappropriate? Sometimes. But not all the times. Thinking back to the times I've used it, I've actually not used it to mean stupid or inept, but when I'm being hindered by a process or something...which, btw, is one of the definitions for retard. Are my kids allowed to sling it around as an insult? Nope! Inappropriate! Are they allowed to say stupid? Not as an insult, but if something is genuinely stupid, SURE!

sheena.jean
2 yearss ago

I can't say I'm surprised that ANY politician would defend they're own party. That's they're job, I suppose. All I have to say is shame on both of them for using "retard" in a derogatory way. Professional people should know better. It only makes them look stupid if they can't find the correct or polite way to display their ideas.

Arizona Writer
2 yearss ago

As to the first part of the question, I think Sarah Palin would've jumped down Limbaugh's throat in a nanosecond if he was a liberal. The usage was slightly different, but it certainly wasn't sensitive -- I believe he said we can “no longer call a retard a retard," which I don't see Palin endorsing in the least. When Letterman said something insensitive toward her family, she didn't care that he was using comedy and satire, now, did she? As to the second, and more important, part, I think the word, at least as it's currently used, should be retired. But I think that's way too simple a way to look at it. My son and I have talked about "retard," and we've also talked about "butthead," and "asshole," "shit," "bitch," "jerkface," "poophead," and others as they come up. My line to him is, sure, there are certain words you'll see consistently proscribed, but the point is, if it's used to hurt someone, and if that's the only or primary usage of it, then no. Find another way to say what you need to say, or remain silent. According to our way of thinking, "retard" is indeed bad, and it's no better or worse than "freak" or "asshole" or any number of other words (although I do understand how it could be uniquely bad to a group who have heard it used to put them down specifically). We hit a stumbling block at "bitch," because my son's smart enough to know that's also the name of a female dog. Can you say female dog without hurting someone's feelings? Yes. Is saying it that way helping anyone or in any way necessary? Probably not. Then it's hurtful. Don't say it. On the other hand, we allow (in our home, not at school) the limited usage of saying someone did something "stupid" and the like, because we've all established enough respect that we've long since made it clear we're labeling the action (and we all do stupid things), not the person. We don't say "retarded," but if we labeled an action as such, I don't imagine it would be done in a hurtful way. "Retard" is only used to label people. No good. That's it. No trickety trick. No some-groups-allowed, some not. Try your best to not be hurtful. Seems simple enough.

bwankel
2 yearss ago

What Palin did was hypocritical, bar none. I'm sure what Dana is saying about the two situations being different is true (I'm not familiar with what happened first with the Chief of Staff), but the word was used equally as insensitively in both situations, Rush does actually call Democrats "retards" a few times in that rant, and not just satirically either. And I agree with AZ Writer, if it were a liberal or Democrat using it in the way Rush did, I am pretty sure she would never have defended them. And the fact that she defended his use of the word, in whatever context it was said, when she herself has a child with Down's makes my head spin so hard I can't see straight. As for the word, I hate it. HATE it. At least in the context it is used in now. I try not to use it. It's the same as those people who go around calling everything "gay". As if gay were something we should avoid at all costs, something that's just terrible, something that the person could help. Hello, being gay or retarded are none of those things! Why do we walk around talking like they are? I also agree with sheena.jean, these people are professionals, they are in the public eye, they should know better. Not that I hold them to a higher moral code than myself, because we're all just people after all, but they do have a major influence over large groups of people, and I believe that kind of power should require a bit of responsibility.

SilverXeno
2 yearss ago

"Kids don't even know words are bad until someone teaches them how to use them in bad ways." I think that is kind of key, here. And part of the reason I try not to label things as "good" or "bad". It's simply "okay" or "not okay" or even "not okay in this situation". I know at some point, my kids are going to start using 3 & 4 letter words with their friends b/c it's "cool"...but I'm hoping that by keeping the "bad" label off of them, they'll think about it a split second longer before it flies out of their mouth at another person. That said, I would never have my child use a word in it's dictionary sense, if I know the general population uses the word in a negative connotation. I will teach my child the word donkey or mule, before I teach her the word ass, lol. If any of that makes sense...

admin
2 yearss ago

We don't swear around our daughter (yet). If she hears someone say the word "stupid" she is shocked. I know reality will hit soon enough and she will start hearing and using words that we haven't used in her presence up until now. I'm okay with that, and also okay with the fact that some might view our approach as naive. But it's given us a lot of opportunities to discuss words that can be hurtful. So "stupid" when used to describe a person is not okay - but more appropriate when struggling with a stubborn zipper (stupid zipper). Same for retard. I used it all the time when I was a child, but now.... it is (and always has been) a derogatory term so we don't use it. There's a movement out there right now to end the use of the word altogether and I'm all for it. Thanks to a blogger friend (with a child with special needs) who pointed me toward it. http://www.r-word.org/

Arizona Writer
2 yearss ago

Exactly. It's all about the intention and usage behind the word, and being aware of how others receive it. If she hears someone say the word "stupid" she is shocked. My son heard someone bang his head on his car trunk lid in the parking lot when he was four or so. The guy let off a huge stream of expletives: "@#$% car! @#&^%#ing stupid piece of @%$@#!!!!" (Or something like that. I don't remember the exact expletive string, but it was long and creative.) He looks at me all horrified. Oh boy, I figured, here it comes. "Mom! He said 'stupid!'" It's all relative, I guess. Kids don't even know words are bad until someone teaches them how to use them in bad ways.

The "R" Word: Is It Ever OK to Use It?

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