Sexual Abuse: Talking to Your Kids About it?

Sexual Abuse: Talking to Your Kids About It?

As a parent, your job is to tackle the tough issues. And sexual abuse has to be one of the most difficult topics to discuss with your kids. Unfortunately, it's also a necessary one. After all, to be forewarned is to be forearmed, and children need to know about the dangers of the world so they can protect themselves. The question is, how do you broach the subject? Asha Dornfest of Parent Hacks asks, "How do you talk to your kids about sexual abuse?"

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R. Carl Hart
4 months ago

Please teach your children, and I mean both boys and girls. You need to make your child an "Off Limits" Child. I hope I am not breaking any rules, but I am going to post several links for parents. The first one is to a site that has a lot of information and resources for parents. It's called National Association of Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse. This link will take you to the resources page and you will see the list of great resources. http://naasca.org/010111-Resources.htm The next link is to a book that is written for children. I'll quote one review: "...In only 19 sentences, this simple book will empower children while promoting open communication." - School Library Journal http://www.mybodybelongstome.com/ The final link is to a site that parents can get a lot of great tips on raising an "Off Limits" Child. It's also another great book on the topic. http://www.parentingsafechildren.com/ I hope this helps, and I wish my parents had taken the time to teach me this information. If they had, maybe I wouldn't have been on "Oprah's 200 Male Survivors of CSA" show that aired last November. Please take the time to protect your children. The affects of CSA can effect a BOY or GIRL for the rest of their lives. Thank you and feel free listen to our Blog Talk Radio Show. R.C. Hart Panelist/Guest Coordinator Community Matters/Stop Child Abuse Now(SCAN) Blog Talk Radio Show http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bill-murray

sherry clyburn
4 months ago

This is an excellent video

anna14903
5 months ago

When i have children especially daughters. I have no intentions in hiding them from me and the wife having sex. I feel they should be brought up in a world accepting voyeurism and Incest as a normal part of life. Why should we stop them from doing something that's natural. if my daughters/sons choose to investigate and wish to join in at any age myself and my wife have no intentions in stopping them. Why should society and the government Choose what is right FOR OUR KIDS THAT WE PRODUCED. We personally believe that There should be NO Minimum age of consent. I know that when i myself was under 10 i masturbated And the girl whom i lost with was under 10. we knew alot at that age And knew this through natural exploring of one another over a year or so. Neither of us had come from incest or sexual backgrounds. Also kids these days know more than ever soo why put a law on something that there gonna try anyway. But probably in a more dangerous situation from trying to do it behind folks back. I know of an 8yo girl, who can operate a computer, Has setup her own Facebook account, Faked her age, and chats up older guys. She worked out herself how to send sexy photos of herself and has a vocab like you wouldn't believe. She has never been molested, groomed or exposed to anything before she's just a smart girl WHO IS WITH ME Incest Should be Legal There should be NO AGE OF CONSENT Voyeurism of any age LEGAL

amom
1 years ago

There is a great book that deals with this topic that I found very helpful. It's called "Protecting the Gift" It deals with abduction and molestation. The majority of children who are molested are by people they already know. Two things that really stuck out for me with this book were these points: Oftentimes, a person with these intentions will have a child sit on their lap, give them hugs, etc. in front of the parent. By doing this it establishes that the parents are witnessing this and not reacting thereby making other contact a "natural" extension of this. Horrifying. The other thing is to tell your child that if they are ever lost to find Another Mom with small children instead of a store employee or a security guard to assist them in finding their parent. The reason being another mother is going to be more emotionally invested in helping the child find their mom. The book may seem scary to read and hard to do but it's worth it. By arming yourself with this information as a parent you will have more ways of protecting your children.

Lacy
2 yearss ago

Jessica G - I understand trying to protect your children, but do you think not letting them stay at other people's homes "un-related anyone" is helping that or just overprotective? I am a survivor of sexual abuse by a family member. Not having sleep overs didn't protect me. What else should be done?

5minutesformom
2 yearss ago

Such a huge and important issue! I like the word Maggie uses to talk to her child... some good ideas there. I often remind my almost 5 yr old girl that nobody should be touching or looking at her privates and that nobody should ever ask you to keep a secret from Mommy.

islandchick2010
2 yearss ago

I am trying to get pregnant sorry im not a mommy yet but this has been something that worries me A LOT. i was molested by my uncle at 12 it was a one time thing but that came out of no where so ever since i have been weary of men. I want to have a lot of kids but i feel paranoid about it and sometimes i have panic attacks and worry about my future kids. its soo weird of me i know but i just say to myself should i even have kids now if im so worried. But my husband and i really want kids so i am happy this topic is being discussed. its not popular at all but is a necessary topic.

Jojo
2 yearss ago

I wanted to make one more point, for what it's worth. There are far worse things than sexual abuse. You can get over this kind of abuse in full. I don't think you can get over the abuse that comes from bullying, humiliation, and disrespect from your parents.

SilverXeno
2 yearss ago

Physical and emotional abuse are two different things. And often, sexual abuse (physical) is paired with emotional abuse (if you tell our secret, I'll hurt your family). You have to work on both. The psychological scars from sexual abuse can follow you for a lifetime and effect all of your relationships, even the ones that are not sexual. Abuse from bullying & parents often manifests against other people of authority in your life. You may distrust them, want to rebel against them...or even fear them. But it's also something that you can recognize and learn to work around. Sexual abuse can also be a form of all of those abuses you listed. The predator often gets the victim to engage in humiliating situations, bullies them into submission (and not always the typical physical bullying, but the less obvious psychological bullying, think "Mean Girls"), and parents can be disrespectful of the situation. I have a friend who is my age, that was abused for about 6 years, starting in 1st grade, by a male relative a few years older than she was. The "relationship" was discovered, it has now been about 15 years since the abuse, but her abuser is now fishing buddies with her father, and her parents frequently invite him into their home. There were never any police report, never any therapy...her parents continue to disrespect her by allowing her abuser in their home. Sexual abuse violates you in ways that changes who you are. I don't think it's fair to make that comparison at all.

Jojo
2 yearss ago

You make some excellent points. I was not trying to minimize the pain of sexual abuse. I was responding to the comment made by two of the panelists that "nothing is worse than sexual abuse". I don't think that is a good way to look at sexual abuse or any abuse. There are worse things. It's a very dramatic and unhelpful way to consider abuse. That is all. I think all of your points are insightful, though.

Sexual Abuse: Talking to Your Kids About It?

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