Is Technology Hurting Our Kids Socially?

When we were kids, we used to spend hours on the telephone talking to our friends until eventually our parents discovered that there weren't any phone calls coming in and it was time to hang up. Jessica Gottlieb likens our telephone time to the amount of time kids these days spend texting, facebooking, twittering, and playing video games. But is this surge in technology hurting our kids socially? Giyen Kim loves that her daughter has over 500 friends on Facebook and can stay in touch with them and connect with them online.

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kajeetmst
2 yearss ago

My daughter is 12 and has a cell phone. I think it has helped her become a little more social which is good. She is active in sports and scouts and staying connected to us is important even if it is a text. We set ground rules for the use of her phone and she knows if she doesn’t follow the rules there will be consequences. So far so good! We went with kajeet because of the free parental controls and the service is affordable! We pay $14.99 a month for 60 anytime minutes and unlimited texting. Save 15% off any phone at http://www.kajeet.com/michele

SilverXeno
2 yearss ago

My kids are 2 & 6. Except for learning how to use the television remote...they're not really into "technology" in the same way older kids might be. Personally...I am a little anti-technology, not b/c I fear it or don't know how to use it...but b/c I think it should be for MY benefit or MY convenience. And sorry, getting a text a drunk text from my brother at 2 am is not convenient. I get lots of angry voicemails, "Why aren't you answering??? PICK UP!" If I wanted to be on the phone, I would certainly have answered. Thanks. Maybe its a bitchy attitude to have, but seriously...MY time means MY rules. If you want my time...then you get it when I say you can. Obviously I have quite a while before it might become a real issue in our house, but my personal restrictions for technology are that we follow website rules. If Facebook says you can't have your own page until you're 13...My kids won't be getting on it early. (And FYI, if you are my friend and I see that you have created an account for your underage child, yes I will report it.) And unless you're driving on your own, you don't need a cell phone. I don't care how many carpools or extra curriculars you're involved in...One woman I am friends with (whose children are considerably older than mine) has let her 11 yr old have a cell phone for about 2 years now. Her reasoning, "Because our schedules are crazy." Umm...Thats what a calendar is for. Not a cell phone. I feel like your kids are at school, at home, or with another adult at all times until they're at least in highschool. At school, they can go to the office to make a phone call...and I know schools still have payphones, I've driven by and seen them! If they're at home...use the house line for contact. When you're with another adult (coach, instructor, teacher, etc) then you are their responsibility and they will call me if there is a problem. And maybe its totally unrelated, but even with the availability of having a cellphone; her 17 yr old daughter didn't call her one day when a practice ended early. She went with friends to hang out instead...had sex with a boy and got pregnant. Now, once you're 16, you're driving, you're on your own...I certainly would allow a cellphone. Maybe not your very own personalized cellphone...maybe a "family" cell that can be checked out from mom & dad when you'll be in the car. So is this really a social problem? Or just some parents who let their kids spend too much time online & on the phone?

JessicaGottlieb
2 yearss ago

Oh please, my daughter is 11 and has a cell phone. She texted me today from inside a store dressing room with, "can you get me a 14 slim please?" Of course I shrieked at her NO are you out of your mind??? And of course I totally embarrassed her, but I'm pretty sure that's my duty as a mom. I don't think that the cell keeps us more connected, it was just something she wanted, and she's a good kid, so she got one for her birthday. And payphones? I haven't seen one in SO LONG, but my kids know most of the store owners in the area and when they take walks they're supposed to ask a store owner to please call home. We haven't needed it yet, but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.

SilverXeno
2 yearss ago

I'm in podunk...there is a lot of low-income here as well...and Amish. You'd be surprised by the number of payphones you see with carriages parked next to them! When I lived in a more middle & high-income area, there were almost no payphones!! So maybe my decision would be different if we were in a different area. But I still can pull into any gas station & find a payphone!

kitchenprincess
2 yearss ago

Your children will be allowed the use of the family cellphone when they are 16, to be checked out only when they will be driving the car? Your children, your rules of course but that does sound a bit extreme. I don't see the point of being that strict about it. At that age, almost everyone has a cellphone and even though they probably don't need it for survival per sé, it seems quite crucial for social survival as a teen. I don't think I would force my kids to be the only ones without a cellphone, just because ... why really? There are ways to manage their phone behaviour short from outright denying them a phone. For example, allowing them a certain predetermined phone credit per month. If they use it up within the first week, then that's their problem and they'll probably be smarter next time.

SilverXeno
2 yearss ago

You're right. My kids, my rules. :) If I need to explain for it to make more sense, I will! :) My husband and I use a family plan. It's cheaper overall to use a family plan than individual or prepaid plans. And with prepaid you run the risk of NEEDING to get in touch with someone and then not being able to b/c they have run their minutes out. Them not having minutes is inconvenient for ME, even if they are "learning a lesson" or something. I also don't need for them to use up my shared family minutes, b/c as a parent, as an adult, I have more cause to NEED a cellphone than they do! If my kids are at home, they can use the house line. If my kids are at school, they don't *need* a phone! If they are with me...they again, don't need a phone (if some highly important pre-teen or young teen communication needed to be passed, I would certainly let my cell phone be borrowed for a call)! My friend's daughter racked up $500 worth of charges for going over minutes & responding by text or phone to those goofy "free" ring tone services & whatnot. It took 3 years for the girl to pay her mother back. The girl didn't have a job...but she got an allowance. The girl made a monthly payment to her mother. ...To me, that seems like Momma paid that bill! I have nothing against communication with their friends, but I also feel like that should not dominate their free time. And...I am a little weirded out about your "I don't think I would force my kids to be the only ones without a cellphone..." First, they wouldn't be without a cellphone. They would have one. At certain times. Second, I would never give my child something "just because" everyone else has one. And FWIW, 10 years ago, when I was a teenager and using a cellphone...I had similar restrictions, and I think as a result, it taught me to be good about my phone as an adult. My husband and I share 750 minutes. He's in Afghanistan right now, so the minutes are all mine. The most I've used in a single month is 300 - and that was a holiday month, and we moved...so lots of calls to family, and lots of calls to cancel & switch over services or update address info. I do have unlimited texts...But I don't think a kid needs to text every moment of their waking life. Cellphones aren't THAT different from when I was 17...I don't see cellphones now being so different in 10 years that my rules/restrictions shouldn't hold up. Certainly if things change drastically, I would reconsider some of my strictness. But right now...the most I could consider if my child were to need something before driving age...would be one of the phones like the firefly. They can call out to 6 pre-programmed numbers, plus emergency. They can receive calls from anyone.

theladyslounge
2 yearss ago

Absolutely. Kids are far more socially challenged now than they used to be, not to mention less healthy and physically fit. I've caught my kids on more than one occasion, talking on a cell while updating their twitter/facebook/tumbler/MSN on the laptop and watching T.V. at the same time. It makes me want to take it all away and lock them outside in the sunshine all day. Actually... that might not be a bad idea... http://www.theladyslounge.com

Sugar Mama
2 yearss ago

Too much of anything is not good. Technology is great for kids to - learn about the benefit of online social networking (what we women do while blogging) - learn new information (which can be positive and also detrimental) - stay in touch with friends/family that are out of state - find info quickly - expand their knowledge of technology which could be helpful for future careers Technology is damaging to kids when: - the only friends they have are friends they've never met in person (meaning they are all online) - the only social activity they get is from their online gaming source such as XBox Live - Reading a book or running around outside are foreign subjects - the parents literally have no idea what their children are doing in all of that spare time - they have thumb cramps from texting so much My kids are 13, 11, and 7.... none of which own a cell phone, have a Facebook account or use their e-mail. I'm not opposed to those things, they just aren't of interest to my kids right now (thank goodness!)

JessicaGottlieb
2 yearss ago

Really? I do all that too. My kids are outside alot, we're running out to baseball right now. I love technology and I'm okay with my kids enjoying it too.

JessicaGottlieb
2 yearss ago

Lucky you! They're expensive too. But seriously the text thing... lifesaver if you're worried about behavior.

Is Technology Hurting Our Kids Socially?

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