Are You Where You Thought You'd Be in Life?

mvhomedelivery
2 yearss ago

No this is not where I thought I would be. I am 47 (opps!), I mean 48 and I am so far from where I thought I would be in life it is just sad to me. I try not to cry about it and try not to give up, but many days I feel defeated. I have rasied five children with 2 left to go. I spent many of my years raising kids as a single parent. I raised four of my neices and nephews and three of my own. I am down to my last two biological children. I feel tired and worn out most of the time. I also have been running a non-profit drug rehab and batterers's treatment program for 28 years. I went back to school and made a decision to pursue my dream of becoming an entrepeneur, so I will be going into business for myself in the next 2 years. I refuse to believe that it is to late to accomplish my dreams. I have spent a life time doing things to help others improve their lives and now it is my turn. Wish me luck everyone. Does any one have any advise for me about my aspiration to become an entrepeneuer, if so please send my way. Toodles!

jbridgetfisher
2 yearss ago

Absolutely not where I thought I would be, but then again I didn't think I would ever have children either. But lately I have been inquiring, I’ve been asking myself, “self what do you want to be when you grow up? What am I good at?” It’s distressing because although there are 38 years behind me, it only feels like 25! Can I get a witness? The time has passed way too quickly which is why I am diligent at keeping my children as young as possible and not piling on too much responsibility to get them caught in the same trap I effortlessly get into. Kate White is an editor and author who I am very fond of, her wisdom is empowering, believable and achievable . This is an excerpt I am borrowing from one of her books; ” “People will argue with you that getting what you want in life isn’t something you can learn, if you’re destined to be one of the worlds winners as opposed to one of its perpetual whiners, its because you have been born with the right talents and temperament and have a big dose of self-esteem, ambition, and good judgment.” “I figure that there’s about 15 percent of life I can’t have power over. But the other 85 percent I can. So I can always start with the attitude that I am at least going to try“ * You cannot get what you want all the time. That is a fact of life. * There’s a difference between getting what you want, and getting what you want and enjoying it. * As you get more of what you want, it will greatly irritate some people. That is a fact of life. You must learn to thicken your skin. Do I know exactly what I want? Make my list of wants. Woman who are good at getting what they want, know what they want. “I’m nuts about________.” “I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.” “I’m in love with doing _____________.” 3 little questions that help figure out what you’re really passionate about: 1. In one sentence, what is it you’re envying? 2. What four words sum up that thing best? 3. Of those four words, which appeals to you most? SO I did the homework proposed by Kate and came into what I would like to do now. She gave me perspective on figuring out what will make me happy, not the rest is left to perseverance and talent, both which I have. SO now it's only a matter of time, and short term goal lines to achieve the destiny I am destined for today.

goody2shoes
2 yearss ago

Am I where I thought I would be right now . . . I never really thought about ‘where I would be in the future’, but just took one year at a time. Statistically, I fit into the ‘average’ category, I think. Graduated from college, pursued a career that I was successful in and enjoyed, got married, had kids, chose to stay home with them, discovered new hobbies . . . and that’s where I am currently--happily married with small kids, enjoying what each day has to offer, learning from the challenges. I have no idea what the future holds and I’ve learned not to hold on too tightly to my own preconceived notions. Regrets: I think the exclamation, “I did this or that--no regrets!”, is a bit paradoxical because it negates the fact that there may indeed BE regrets--just the refusal to admit true feelings. Maybe there were deep regrets at one time, but they’ve moved on to accept this is what happened, this is just how life turned out--right or wrong, and they had the choice to dwell on it or move forward. I still have those feelings of regret even though circumstances were really out of my control; timing, the unexpected direction change, the brokenness and acquiescence of certain difficult and demanding relationships . . . But, everything works out in the end, even with the regrets. I am a stronger, healthier, and better person--the person I‘m supposed to be, doing what I‘m supposed to do. I have complete faith in that. And, I don‘t discount the other unexpected, amazing opportunities that have literally fallen into my lap! I am blessed. Put life all together and so far it has weaved an exciting and colorful tapestry consisting of disappointment, regret, hope, growth, acceptance, indescribable joy and pain, and adventure. I do not regret where I am in life (in spite of my past regrets). I cheerfully accept it!

lunapie
2 yearss ago

In some respects I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I thought I would be, and in others, swaggering steps behind. I'm definitely a much further distance then I ever thought I would be from the place I call 'home'. But hey, none of that really matters to me as long as I keep moving forward. And that much, I am doing! (Okay, so there's the occasional side-step.)

celestialmomma
2 yearss ago

I never would have imagined dragging myself through three universities over a ten year period to wind up bagging groceries in a blue smock. The really funny part, I LOVE my life. I adore my husband, my girls are a solar system unto themselves, my co-workers are fantastic, and I genuinely like my customers. The big picture is pretty humbling. Comparisons to 'my old life' 'my friends lives' 'what I'd hoped for' suck. The actual day to day living is very good. This year, I have the ability to be present as a stay at home mom AND quietly escape from the house for 15 hours a week knowing that my extremely capable partner is on duty. I have the financial freedom to pay for an expensive summer camp my oldest needs in order to maintain her routine before entering kindergarten. I have the luxury of sit down for breakfast and dinner each day with my whole family. When DH and I worked 40 hrs. each - opposite shifts with our oldest in daycare, we had economic flexibility with limited time together. When I was at home full time with a single car and a single income, a nursing infant, cloth diapers, and a special needs preschooler, I didn't have economic stability or adequate social support. This incarnation provides a work life balance that enables me to be grateful every time I leave for work, and thankful every time I return. Service work isn't as half as illustrious as pointing out my name in the credits of a PBS documentary, but it's twice as rewarding.

SilverXeno
2 yearss ago

Yeah, there were weird little things that I said I would be when I "grew up" that I am not doing. When I was 13, I wanted to be an archeaologist...Jeez, did I even spell that right? But I realized 80% of my job might be outdoors. I HATE THE OUTDOORS! As I neared the completion of highschool and my mom is saying, "Here is what your father and I are willing to offer for furthering your education...what do you have in mind?" I realized I should get some kind of "plan" together. I did not want to spend a lot of time & money on a career. Mainly b/c I wanted to find a husband and make babies & be home with my babies, not wasting my life away at a job (my opinion at 16). All this careful consideration came after I started looking into the time it would take to do some of the things I considered. Being a research librarian? I would need TWO masters degrees! TWO! I also considered a number of other options, and ruled them out not on the basis of their education requirements but b/c of certain aspects (like the archeology/outdoors thing) that I didn't really want to entertain. I finally decided I would become a CNM. Only then...I couldn't get into college b/c I was homeschooled and they wanted me to jump through hoops to prove I wasn't an idiot. I'm sorry, you accepted the transcripts of the kid that came in before me who reeked of pot and was parked on the sidewalk! A 2.0 GPA?? And you won't accept my 3.8 b/c my diploma is signed by my mommy? You realize I still had to prove to the state that my grades aren't made up, right? WELL EFF YOU ADMISSIONS BITCH! ::sigh:: SO I went back to my $11/hr job and looked into other stuff. Eight years later, I'm a doula...which actually seems like it might be a much better fit for me. The certification is international, so I can take this job anywhere with me. I am a SAHM to 2 beautiful girls, and I married an awesome man, who is career Army. I would say, Yes. I am about where I thought I'd be. Maybe not in the STATE I thought I'd be in...but certainly in the personal & professional life.

lissak
2 yearss ago

I've given up on having regrets. If life has taught me anything, it's that I have to roll with the punches. If you'd asked this at 17, or even through my 20's, I would have been a lot more rigid about it. I wanted a life like everyone else had... what seemed NORMAL or at the very least consistent... but my life has thrown me a LOT of curve balls from a very young age. That being said, I wouldn't change it. Because I feel like if I change any one of those things, and I may not have a wonderful baby girl. I think that (looking back) certain things in my life have happened for a reason. And they got me where I was going. Were they easy? Nope. As for being a list maker... I used to be. I try not to be anymore. For the same reason. I get competitive with myself. The should've, could've... tends to take over. And in the end just causes anxiety. I'm trying to be more about enjoying the moment because you never know what'll happen tomorrow.

mamaemma
2 yearss ago

I don't tend to have regrets in my life. Because you can't go back and change them. You just can't, it's done. In a lot of ways I am right where I thought I would be, but the form is a bit different. My 'plan' was to get married right out of college. Live in Africa. Have babies at 27-28. And be a professional artist. I did NOT get married right out of college, had to wait a few years. A few years of awesome self discovery and healing that made me into the woman that attracted my husband. (Who I had pictured as a 6'4", outdoorsy, international doctor; I married a 5'9", uber-outdoorsy, international, doctor of education...sometimes you get what you neeeed) So here I am married, with a baby that I gave to birth to at 28, living in Kenya, a professional artist and thinking about this whole writing thing... So, yeah, I guess I am right where I thought I would be. Is that wrong? Can I admit that without getting flogged? www.redearthsafari.blogspot.com

theladyslounge
2 yearss ago

You all hit points that hit close to home, from planning for the unexpected to keeping a physical list of what you want to do etc... My kids and I have been hit by unexpected tragedy a few times over the last 4 or 5 years and been seriously derailed as a result. I find that journaling regularly helps keep me focused and cures the feeling of being completely overwhelmed. I think my life plan at 12 years old was pretty much the same as Giyen's, only I was married to Matt Dillon, had 6 kids and was a successful movie star myself. Almost 40 years old, flat broke with 3 kids, part time burlesque performer/actress/singer looking for a real job to pay the rent wasn't part of the plan, no... but we're still working on it, minus the Matt Dillon Part that is. http://www.theladyslounge.com

bwankel
2 yearss ago

Well, I have always wanted to be a writer. From a very young age. As a web writer, I'm not doing exactly the type of writing I had envisioned...but then again, the Internet was not around when I was a kid! I thought I'd be writing brilliant novels. And, maybe someday still, time will tell :) I also had visions of living in either New York or San Francisco, and I'm so glad I got that to work out. I'm in SF now, and loving every second of it! Other than that? Life is not really what I had pictured for myself at all. I thought I would marry (or live with indefinitely) a semi-religious guy. I ended up marrying an atheist, which has turned me agnostic, leaning on the atheist side. Also, I never really knew if I'd have kids. In my early 20s, it was very uncertain if I'd ever make that plunge. But then something snapped in me when I was 28 and I wanted to be a mother. So, there's that. But, I'm pretty happy with where I am. Life is simple, but good. And I don't have too many regrets about my younger years.

Are You Where You Thought You'd Be in Life?

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