Worst Parent of the Year?

Worst parent of the year? Not really, but it can feel that way when you have one of your worst parenting moments. From the times you simply lose it to your "duh" moments, these episodes can make you feel like a bad mom. But we all have our tales of imperfection. It doesn't mean we're bad parents, it just means we're human. In the interest of camaraderie, our Momversation panelists are sharing their "oops" sagas. Alice Bradley of Finslippy starts off the conversation when she asks, "What's your worst parenting moment?"

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Showing the Latest of 21 Comments

ConnieNTn
11 months ago

On the news there was this woman that got so upset that she shot her two kids one 13 and one 16. She killed them. They took her away, she was shaking and crazy. If it got that bad that they were driving me nuts, I would just get in the car and leave. How could she kill her own kids. If if is that bad, then leave.

SabbyG
2 yearss ago

I NEEDED this episode today. Since adopting my daughter (now five years old) just over two years ago, I have felt time and time again that I am the worst mother in the world. I especially appreciated hearing what Heather Armstrong had to say, because, well, let's just say I've been in her same situation so many times. Since I have so many "worst mommy moments" to choose from, I'll just pick the latest and greatest example: this morning, trying to get out the door with my daughter. It was the typical head-butting scenario with my daughter: she wants this, I want that. She wanted to wear a hairband, I wanted her to wear a hat (because it's freakin' cold out there)... and, no, she didn't want to wear the hairband with the hat overtop. The screaming and tears escalated, culminating with me putting the hat on her head and pushing it down so hard that she lost her balance and her legs buckled underneath her, sending her jellyfish body to the floor. Oh, the drama! The whole scene was a mess and I felt, yet again, like I somehow couldn't rise above the situation to just calmly say, "fine, dear, wear your hairband and I'll just put your hat in your backpack until you feel you need it." Nope. I chose anger, screaming and crying instead, which eventually led me to feelings of guilt and regret (and fatigue)... all within the space of four & a half minutes. Amazing how that happens. Anyway, I think whenever I have a bad parenting moment now, I will revisit this particular momversation, just so I don't feel so alone. Thanks for posing the question!

acm
2 yearss ago

oh man, I got weepy listening to dooce -- that's exactly it, with that and other stories (and my own experience) -- the worst isn't knowing you've acted beneath yourself or done something "wrong," it's the response of alarm, dismay, fear from your child that's really crushing. even something as little as yelling back at my child during a diaper change battle has made her go from yelling to screaming, with a fear-like face, and I'm just wrecked -- so unhelpful, so sorry kid, so need a break... there just aren't enough breaks in the world for parents. head pats all around.

Kimmydoll
2 yearss ago

Oh wow. Where to begin. I've definitely done my share of parenting mishaps, all just a hair short of of what CPS might classify as abuse....but who knows. I've been known, on a really bad day, to shut the lights off in the bathroom and threaten to close the door while my daughter refuses to leave her bath. Boy, nothing gets her hopping out of there faster, but what a terrible way to do it. Also, for a while my method of "time out" was to stick my daughter in a cold shower. While she was clothed. I know, I'm awful. I haven't had to do these things in over a year though. Does that say anything? Other than I apparently have an issue with our bathroom...

ConnieNTn
11 months ago

Sticking your child in a cold shower is awful. I think that a woman was on the news that got arrested for that as child abuse.

feastafterfamine
2 yearss ago

Oh, so many fabulously horrible moments in parenting it's difficult to pick. I'll settle for a funny one: My oldest son, 2 at the time, shoves a handful of peas up his nose while I'm in the kitchen refilling a milk cup or doing something for the youngest. When I return to the table, I spy one in his nostril. Tell him it's not funny. End of story. Until 30 minutes later, when another comes out. Then another. I realize we've got a bigger issue on our hands. I lay him on the changing table and a simple look up shows three more. I make my husband call the pediatrician who tells us to beat a hasty retreat to the ER. Doctors there extract another few. I think we make it to eight. But there's still one up there that the docs can't get so they recommend an ENT the next morning. I get all four kids into the car, head out to this office which is quite a haul, squeeze them all into a teeny tiny exam room and put Desmond into the chair. The doctor snakes a 12-inch long tube into my baby's nose while he howls and shudders and kicks and thrashes. I have two girls but my oldest boy is our drama queen. His siblings watch in disturbed horror. The doctor concludes that the last pea must have fallen down Desmond's throat during the night. His passages are clear. I drag them all back to the car - including a pathetic whimpering Desmond - and get them strapped in. Desmond's still crying some 10 minutes later. Want to know what I do to comfort him? I don't grab him in my arms and smother him with a bear hug of love. I don't softly wipe away his tears. I don't pet his head. I scream to his siblings: "Did you see what the doctor did to Desmondt? Do you see what happens if you put peas in your nose? THE DOCTOR WILL HURT YOU!" A profound, scary, deep silence falls over the car and lasts for at least the next 20 minutes. Well, except for the muffled whimpers of Desmond. Definitely not a finer Mom moment. But I guarantee you this: it will be a cold day in hell before any of them sticks another thing up their nose. The image of that snake running through their brother's nose and into his brain guarantees that.

Daphne
2 yearss ago

it's kind of like "five little monkeys jumping on the bed"

Mindy
2 yearss ago

My worst parenting moments are too myriad to list, but I do have Exhibit A, drawn by my middle son and lauded by the others. http://www.flickr.com/photos/themommyblog/4026704044/ Funny thing is, what I consider awful may not have registered with the kids, and something I think was nothing floored them. Perception and worldview play a huge part in how the same actions appear to people twenty, thirty, forty years apart in age!

Pentamom
2 yearss ago

MeMyselfandMommy
2 yearss ago

When I think of my worst parenting moments, events involving poo are what come to mind. I flip my lid. I'm irrational and impatient and angry the entire time I'm cleaning Moanna and the bed and the walls and the bathroom. However, I feel the worst when I want Moanna to go to bed. I'm exhausted and numb. In those moments, I'm totally detached from Moanna. I don't care if she's playing or not, if she's happy or not, if she wants to snuggle or not. I don't care. I just want her to go away. I want her to go to sleep so that there is silence, so I can sleep, so I can watch TV, so I can eat, so I don't have to listen to her go on and on and on. Wow, that sounds really bad doesn't it? I must warn you, I may cry because I did this to her tonight. I had to get up at 5:00AM and drive an hour and a half to work for the day. My husband is out of town, so it was all on me. I had to get Moanna from the sitter, feed her, play with her, keep her happy and do everything else that needed to get done. Finally, at 8:30 (which is early for her), I was like, "I can't handle this anymore. I need you to go to sleep, so I can shut off this auto pilot I've been on and regroup." The girl wasn't even bothering me, she was watching Dora in a different room. I laid her down, gave her kisses, said goodnight and shut the door. She cried and cried and cried. "Mommy, I want to snuggle. Mommy, I don't want to sleep. Mommy, mommy..." I ignored her and let her cry it out. Not five minutes after she stopped crying, I felt the guilt hit. I was officially the worst parent of the year. I had let Moanna down. I didn't come to her rescue. Had she given up on me? Because, I couldn't keep myself together and enjoy the evening, Moanna's day ended badly. I missed her. I felt awful for not taking the time to give her the time she deserved. Those are the moments that I feel like the worst parent in the world.

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